"the unbearable tentativeness of being." Sunday NYT story on the troubling fungibility and acceptibility of "being late" thanks to the proliferation of cell phones. Which reminds me, did I ever post about my talk on "leadership by cellphone" and it's effects on.... Ooops, I have an IM. Get back to you later.

"The window spreads open longer if you know you can call," said Mr. Taylor, who works at Equinox Fitness Clubs in New York. "If they didn't have a phone, they'd be more apt to just get there. It's nice that you're letting me know so I don't have to wait, but I'm still waiting anyway."

SNIP

"It's become `Since I have a cellphone, I can dawdle more,' " Ms. Page said.

Dr. Katz said the subjects of his observations never considered themselves late if they called to alert the people they were meeting. "They say they are being more considerate of the other person by asking permission to be late," he said.

But ultimately, researchers say, being late is a way of exercising power.

"You think you're doing a good thing," Dr. Blinkoff said. "But in reality you're saying, `I'm more important than you — my time is more important than yours is.' There's this sense that if you're late, you must be really busy, and if you're really busy, you must be a really important person."

That can damage relationships. In a survey of 1,425 people nationwide by Dr. Katz in 2000, 14 percent said bad cellphone manners, including tardiness, had hurt a close relationship.

"It gnaws away at someone's self-esteem if they're being told they're the next-most-important thing to that bargain sweater," he said.

Smack! Can you hear me now?