Mars Rover Finds Signs of Ancient Water

Link NASA scientists said yesterday that the robot explorer Opportunity has discovered evidence that liquid water once soaked part of Mars for some period of time, increasing the possibility that the planet might once have supported life as it is known on Earth.

"The puzzle pieces have been falling into place, and the last puzzle piece fell into place a few days ago," said Cornell University astronomer Steve Squyres, principal investigator of the Mars Exploration Rover mission. "We have concluded that the rocks here were once soaked in liquid water."

President Bush comments:

ROSE GARDEN: Our heroic and industriable scientificists at NASA have informed us that there is firm evidence that Mars has waters--the fountain of God's most precious gift, possible life. In additional, my chief scientologist, Sean O'Keefe here, tells me that Martian water contains the compound H-twenty, the necessary ingredient in the creation of Hydrogen powered cars, a personal dream of mine for some time in the future.

Yes, I have a dream also.

My fellow Americans, this is the fruit of the loins of spacial entrepreneurship, uniquely spacial, uniquely American loins. It is historical-making. In light of this, I am significantly accellerating our plans to go to the Red Soggy planet, and place before you, an ambitious and boldly emboldering plan:

And that is, by the end of the month of October of this very year, an American will be distillerating Hydrogen on Mars. And furthermore, that before my next Inauguration, and with God's grace, Mars will have become a peaceful, democratic, H20-exporting member of the family of freedom-loving planets. Thank you, and may God Bless America. And Mars.

Okay, that wasn't Bush. Give it time, he hasn't held any press conferences on this yet, as far as I can tell. Still, any bets on when the first bottle of "Mars Water" shows up on E-bay? (My labels are printing as I type this.)

[Update: A few typos cleaned up, not that you'd know which.]