Bodicea Emotes

Bodicea here - a fouro partner and, yes, my debut! Couldn't sit still with all the hormonal references flying without adding my pennies. Since everyone has an opinion, here's mine.

When men use “feeling” they are often admired as evolved enlightened individuals and regarded as compassionate leaders. When women use “feeling” it’s often suspect as hormonal imbalance or the inability to hang with the boys. That's the generalization. But emotions do not have Mars-Venus ownership rights. Though often stereotyped by gender bias and false assumption, emotions are more apt to go unacknowledged - - better left to drift in the abyss than open THAT can of worms. Why? Might you be wrong? Might you loose control of a situation? Might you have to concede? Might you have to change? You might.

You might also grow. Now that’s real scary stuff!

It is basic human nature (R-complex to use Fouro's refs) to want to protect oneself. It’s personal. And it’s real. When it comes to emotions, yours or mine, it’s easier to discount or “spread sheet” a situation, reduce it to facts or figures, than to open one’s heart and mind (left down one’s guard) and recognize that what has been done, or not done, has affected a human being. Could be someone else, could be me.

Emotions: We all have them. And just like minds they are terrible things to waste.

Emotion, good or bad, is powerful stuff. Left unattended, emotions can manifest in ways more destructive than constructive. Take a lesson from a tamtrumming two-year old, a disconnected teen, or a professional “isolated deliverer.” Without compassion in business or in the home, edict what you want in the figurative “boardroom”, but it’s the personal conversation at the “water cooler” that will make or break your stride. Go ahead, feed the dragon: you’ll just have to slay it later. And it may have two heads by then. A real leader - - male or female, professional or parent or child - - intuitively knows that “Leaders don’t just make products and make decisions. Leaders make meaning” (John Seeley Brown).

Everything is personal, not impersonal; and Emotions are Business.

The HAVING of Feelings in the workplace, as in life-space, is not rare - - just denied. Feelings are something to be shared, not flaunted superficially. And Compassion is another way of letting a person know that you hear their concerns, understand their position, relate to their dilemma, or even “feel their pain.” Moreover, Compassion is the greater giving of your time and your attention to let someone else know you noticed them - - and they matter. It’s a bridge. It builds relationships. It reduces barriers. It creates allies. It takes courage. It unleashes curiosity. It reveals leaders. And not all leaders sit at the head of a boardroom table, but you’d better have one directing your “Customer Advocacy” division or your child's classroom.

Why does being heard matter? At the risk of yet another quote,

“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that what's deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit. (e.e.cummings).

And once you’ve made this connection, a life-time customer you will have. (And I’m not referring to the estrogen network). You may also discover that you like yourself a little better than before.

Anyone can be in charge, and many think they are. Anyone can sell a product, but few do it well. And anyone can be a parent, though many should not. But when you personally invest yourself, your feelings, in any of these roles, you emerge stronger and better for it and closer to your goal. How do you realize a goal, a dream, unless you allow yourself to dream? As Emerson said best, “What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.” And if what lies within us is our best part, why then do we rarely find and often devalue the experience or its expression?

Oprah understands this.

It doesn’t take a woman to recognize the heart is home to everything. We just recognize it sooner than most men.

Thanks for letting me share [grin].