OKAY, AFTER A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP, I'VE GOT IT

"Why is he shouting," you say? Read on.

Remember the Charlie Gibson moment where Dubya launched himself off his stool at Charlie and the audience? Sure you do. Now read this.....

But on the big questions, about whether or not we should have gone into Afghanistan, the big question about whether we should have removed somebody in Iraq - I'll stand by those decisions because I think they're right. It's really what your - when they ask about the mistakes, that's what they're talking about. They're trying to say, did you make a mistake going into Iraq? And the answer is absolutely not. It was the right decision.

Bush is Captain Queeg Link...

(Captain Queeg removes the steel balls from his pocket and he spins them in his palm insistently as he speaks.)

QUEEG (Bogart): No, I, I don't see any need of that. Now that I recall, he might have said something about messboys and then again he might not -- I questioned so many men and Harding was not the most reliable officer.

LT. GREENWALD (Jose Ferrer): I'm afraid the defense has no other recourse than to produce Lt. Harding.

QUEEG: Now there's no need for that I know exactly what hell tell you. Lies! He was no different than any officer in the wardroom -- they were all disloyal, I tried to run the ship properly by the book but they fought me at every turn. If the crew wanted to walk around with their shirttails hanging out that's all right let them take the tow line. Defective equipment no more no less, but they encouraged the crew to go around scoffing at me and spreading wild rumors about steaming and circles. And then old yellow stain. I was to blame for Lt. Merrick's incompetence and poor seamanship. Lt. Merrick was the perfect officer but not Captain Queeg.

Ah, but the strawberries! That's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes, but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt, and with geometric logic, that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox did exist! And I'd have produced that key if they hadn't pulled Caine out of action! I-I-I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officer and!......(realizes he has been ranting, babbling)

Naturally, I can only cover these things from memory if I've left anything out, why, just ask me specific questions and I'll be glad to answer them...one-by-one...

Think about it:

• Queeg thought his men were inferior, letting him down.
• Queeg wouldn't brook criticism or reconsider a decision once it was made.
• Queeg said he was only doing what a leader's s'posed to do and he wasn't about winning popularity contests.
• Queeg shouted a lot and generally seemed like he was ready to pop a cork.
• Queeg turned the lives of all aboard his ship upside down in a crazed search for WMD Strawberry Ice Cream.
• Queeg, under pressure of cross examination, revealed his true nature .
• Queeg was put out to pasture.

Queeg is Bush, Bush is Queeg....

I remember sitting in the White House looking at those generals, saying do you have what you need in this war? Do you have what it takes? I remember going down to the basement of the White House the day we committed our troops as last resort. Looking at Tommy Franks and the generals on the ground. Asking them do we have the right plan with the right troop level? And they looked me in the eye and said, yes, sir, Mr. president.

Of course, I listened to our generals. That's what a president does. A president tests the strategy and relies upon good military people to execute that strategy.

So. The generals screwed up. Not my mistake. Queeg-Bush continues:

QUESTION: Sir, can you say three mistakes you have made?

BUSH: Now you ask what mistakes. I've made some mistakes in appointing people, but I'm not going to name them. I don't want to hurt their feelings on national TV.

I appointed some bad people. People let me down. You don't understand--let me finish!--It's not my fault.

Finally, I snagged this from a diligent Daily Kos-er yesterday (Are you out therre? Claim credit, please.)

Los Angeles Times, May 20, 2004: THE RACE TO THE WHITE HOUSE

Making what has become a compulsory stop on the campaign trail of the 21st century, First Lady Laura Bush appeared on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" in Burbank on Wednesday, and surprised the comedian when she told him that reading newspapers was a daily ritual in the White House.

-snip-

When he asked her if she'd ever criticized her husband for using "strident" phrases such as "axis of evil" and "evildoers," Bush parried his question.

"Jay," she said, "what happens in the White House stays in the White House."

She did allow that when Bush ran for Congress in 1978 -- his first campaign and one that he lost -- her mother-in-law, Barbara Bush, took her aside and told her never to criticize his speeches.

"So I really took her advice to heart," Laura Bush said. "Until one night when we were driving into our driveway and he said, 'Tell me the truth: How was my speech?' And I said, 'Well, it wasn't that good.' And with that ... he drove into the garage wall."

Case closed.

Bush is Queeg.


[Update: Fixed Bush's "Now you asked what mistakes" quote]