Parents, you cannot win. Immediately, anyway.

One of the large aspects of parenting seems to be patience. Sometimes it's fruitful and on or in your terms, sometimes you have to wait inordinate amounts of time to get some "payback." Sometimes you get weak signals.

Mrs Fouro got this Sunday nite from the oldest grrrl:

You're driving me insane

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If you ever try to change me
You’ll have a hard time
Cause I’m stronger and greater
Than any old wine

Try to drive me crazy
Try to drive me cruel
I'll win you know it
I rock that cool

You’re driving me insane
But I’m to blame
Just leave me alone
We aren't the same
But I’m to blame!

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This is the only way I know who to say it…
Sometimes this is how I feel!

Oh yeah. Wish for an independent-minded, self-determining daughter and you'll get one. But as I read that poem I felt the pangs of parental control (and resistance and eventual wisdom) that I recognized. Mostly, since this was directed and emailed to Mom, and I'm just an interested CC'd by-stander, I wanted to add to Mom's mix:

We want for our children what we want for ourselves,
courage, patience, strength, wisdom, good fortune, humility

We want for ourselves what we see in our children,
Beauty, humor, curiosity, hope, love, comfort

And we want for the world what we desire inside,

the patience to remain hopeful until we begin to hear our own lessons, not just those of others

the courage to learn that good fortune without curiosity or love is seldom beautiful

the wisdom to know that learning is life, and life is change and change is always a challenge because, well, “why change perfection?”

And, finally, the humor to laugh at our pretend “why change perfect?” selves and at the mistakes they lead us to, with love enough to laugh it out loud. This shared noise called laughter is the ultimate lesson and sign; the ultimate knowing:

Strength is humility is curiosity is courage is strength.

"Mom" is doing an awesome job, even if "daughter" can't appreciate it yet. Gee, I should write a book about this phenomenon.