^∞Fouroboros

Draft Hate Amendent? Permalink is bloggered. Scroll down 3 posts.

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[Update: A reader has had difficulty following my stilted insertion of historical references and quotes below.....helpers added in brackets. \sarcasm off.]

Spartacus resigns. Nobody else says: "I'm Spartacus."
[Spartacus, a 1st Century, B.C. Thracian Gladiator and Rebel leader is finally defeated in battle by Roman Imperium, Crassus. In the 1960 film version Crassus comes for Spartacus, and him only, of the surviving Spartan and Thracian fighters. When asked, "Where is Spartacus?", they each claim to be Spartacus, attempting to take the place of their leader. This is doubtful, but Crassus did round up and crucify 6000 Thracians, lining the Via Appia, all the way north to Rome.]

Horatio, I am dead...:[Wm. Shakespeare; Hamlet's dying words.]

NYT: Richard Perle, a Pentagon adviser known for his hawkish views on Iraq, has resigned his membership on the Defense Policy Board, which counsels the secretary of defense on policy issues. ..."I have just published a book that calls for far-reaching reform of government departments responsible for combating terrorism,'' he wrote. "Many of the ideas in that book are controversial and I wish to be free to argue for them without those views or my arguments getting caught up in the [Presidential] campaign.''

Now cracks a noble heart - goodnight, sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest...[Horatio's farewell words to a dead Hamlet, his friend.]

"The fact that the Defense Policy Board is not a decision-making body but is simply a forum enabling the secretary of defense to hear a variety of opinions and observations (often opposed to one another) is simply not understood by the general public,'' he wrote.

Hey, nonny, nonny. [... is a 15th & 16th Century nonsense phrase, similar to "La-dee-dah!" used by Shakespeare a lot.] Surely, somewhere, Max Boot's heart is fluttering too--ah, here he is, in Foreign Policy:

“Failure in Iraq Has Discredited the Neocons [?]”

Too early to say. The emerging media consensus that the U.S. occupation has fizzled is ludicrously premature. Sure, there have been a lot of well-publicized problems, such as terrorism, crime, and electricity shortages.

Yes, aside from the iceberg, Captain Smith, I think the voyage is going swimmingly. [Smith was Captain of the Titanic.] Boot flutters some more...

To a large extent, this blame is unfair. Many of the early problems of the occupation were due to the administration’s failure to commit sufficient resources to Iraq. This oversight was largely the fault of policymakers, such as Rumsfeld . . . If neocons had been in control, they would have done far more, far earlier, in both Afghanistan and Iraq, possibly averting some of the postwar problems. But fairly or not, neocons will doubtless be held responsible for the outcome in both countries; their numerous enemies, on both the left and the right, will see to that.

And finally, the Washington Monthly delivers the coup de grace:[french for A deathblow delivered to end the misery of a mortally wounded victim]

Dissent is indeed breaking out inside the neoconservative tent. One of their colleagues, Robert Kagan, recently wrote in The New York Times that the net result of U.S. policy since 9/11 has been that "America, for the first time since World War II, is suffering a crisis of international legitimacy. Americans will find that they cannot ignore this problem."

Indeed... Yet another Neocon treading the path to awareness. Except, now, with seemingly no self-deprecation or blame-shouldering whatsoever, Kagan and fellow neocons are warning Americans against falling into the hole they've dug for us and the World. When cooler heads advised against the demonization of our European and other allies, against the short-term cathartic trap of Hollywood High Noon bluster over coherent, sustainable strategy, they--we--were scoffed at as ignorant amateurs or Pollyannas. In all the online threads of debates over this issue, from Tacitus, to Little Green Footballs to National Review Online, the wreckage of hope over experience along with buckets of leftover spittle aimed at liberals litters the conservative landscape. The mental and rhetorical gymnastics that were merely frustrating then, have morphed into tragically affirmed delusion, enablers delivering us to the net result of U.S. policy since 9/11: The loss of our hard-earned claim to world leadership.

Gee, thanks. What's Second Prize I wonder?

I've never claimed clairvoyance on my resume but will happily own up to learning from the second kick of a mule--one does not exist long in this world without opportunuties to learn that lesson. Neocons, it seems, did not. I suspect they had chances aplenty, but were blinded by their hormones. In much the same way that sensible business-people suspended their knowledge of the basic laws of Finance to swoon over the "New E-economy", many Americans left their common sense at home and went looking for a bat, forgetting that vigilantes were often tossed in the hoosegow, often alongside their captives, for ill-advised action or for lynching the wrong man. There is gulf between action and wise action. And many are re-learning what they inherently knew all along from practical life experience: "leadership" is a personality trait, not a job description. Nor is it the domain of one political ideology. And "Truth", even if you capitalize it, and print it on a banner, doesn't mean it's True. Ditto: Mission Accomplished.

[In case you missed it, I am avowedly anti-Richard Perle, anti-Neocon, and less than convinced that this administration is doing its best in the War on Terror. I'm also against the hate amendment, but that's two posts back and a whole different Kettle of Monkeys. I hereby now declare a moratorium of 1 day on confusing prose and historico-literary references.]

Draft Amendment Number 2 (Once gays are banished and possession of a Liza Minelli CD is a Class-1 felony, of course.)

Kidding on the Square sagely picks up the slack of an adminstration missing a highly egregious Constitutional oversight: "Proper" Religion. He makes it easy for them...

Let's use a fill in the blank form, just to make it easy. Here are a couple of excerpts from shrubigot's amendment speech. I removed the word marriage but whoever the current president is can insert the appropriate term:

In recent months, however, some activist judges and local officials have made an aggressive attempt to redefine [insert personal preference here].

If we're to prevent the meaning of [insert presonal preference here] from being changed forever, our nation must enact a constitutional amendment to protect [insert personal preference here] in America.

He goes on to protect "Religion" in this highly patriotic and, I might note, environmentally concious, Paper Reduction Act-compliant fashion. Commendable. But aren't there equally urgent issues pressing on the nation's conscience?

Pizza. Far too many people get away with claiming store-bought "tastes like delivery" only to let us down once we get the thing out of the oven. We need an Amendment.

Work. There's a groundswell of support for this one. Well-meaning and deep-pocketed parents are having to fund educations of no use in the real world, only to find their 21-year old kids back home, sprawled on the couch, fridge emptied. I'd call this one "The Smithers girl is an Orthodontist with a BMW and a condo in Aspen and you're still trying to "find" yourself, Mr Anthropology Degree?" Amendment.

I'm for the Constitutional Amendment Defending Marriage. Print 'em up! Let's go.

Sure. Let's print up the forms, maybe even "How to amend the constitution" guides. Let's offer a bipartisan confab--seriously--to discuss acceptable language to the Republicans. Heck, we'll even pay for the hors d'oeurves. And we'll schedule a press conference for them--a joint press conference, where Democratic leaders will smilingly stand beside George, or Tom Delay, or Santorum or Whomever as they proudly hold up their shiny document that delineates the characteristics of marriage in America.

I propose the following outline.

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Whereas Marriage is a fine and sacred institution vital to the fabric of a Democratic Republic and a free and moral society, it is set forth that certain affirmations of consistent understanding be secured: To oversee the fair and effective regulation and disposition of this Amendment to the Constituion of the United States, it is decreed that a Family Integrity Agency (FIA) shall be formed, under the oversight of The Congress. Such dispositive duties and regulations shall consist of:

• Mandatory background checks to determine the purity of Virgin brides and grooms. 1 (one) year's public notice shall be given in advance of proposed weddings. Since high school and college attendance information figures are readily databased and accessible, all students familiar with the intended will notified by internet or postal mail and be allowed to comment on the veracity of claims of purity. Likewise, all current and prior employers and coworkers will be notified and queried. Licence issuance is contingent upon presentation of certified signatures of Approval from Clerics of Offically Recognized Faiths and, of course, the Father of the Female intended.

• No Infidelity. Let us propose also a zero tolerance feature, precisely like the one for drugs, etc: If you cheat, you lose your joint-filing IRS marriage deduction and your drivers license. Similarly, if you file for divorce (see below) as a result of said infidelity, you pay back the difference, plus interest, between 2 single filers and a married couple for the expended duration of the marriage. Documentation of said infidelity remains at the discretion of the Family Integrity Agency investigators. Citizens can file "Suspicion of Infidelity" inquiries with any local office of the Family Integrity Agency. (Efforts are being made to examine online registration of complaints and the submission of tips from parties outside the immediate relationship.) Private investigations must be conducted by licensed companies and only by investigators with forms 1291-A, 1209-8 of showing Marital Fidelity Compliance or Non-Divorced Single Virgin status.

• No Divorce. Our purpose is to secure, once and for all, the sanctity of the most sacred of bonds between a man and a woman. Needless to say "Sacred" until "Sacred" becomes inconvenient or you get bored hardly upholds the Sanctity of the concept of Sanctity. While divorce shall not be outlawed, only in those cases where one spouse can prove actual physical abuse at the hands of the other, will a Second marriage license be permitted. All other divorces shall be deemed, "One strike and you're out." No divorced person may hold public office affecting other married people or their offspring. Neither shall they be allowed to utter the words, Values, Character, Virtue, Morals, Decency, etc (See Appendix iii for complete list ), neither shall they inform public policy nor proselytise on any culturally sensitive issue, without suffixing each oral or written statement with: "the previous is the opinion of a person incapable of maintaining stable relationships."

• Family, defined currently as a man a woman and the offspring resulting from said union, should be a functioning efficient unit. After all, we don't need "families in name only"--people trading on the good grace and reputation of "real" happy families--leeching the societal and financial advantages of "family-ness" while misdirecting quality time owed their children to such other things as work or similar "anti-family" behaviour. State and Local Departments of Child Services and Federal HHS will be phased down, and replaced at a savings with a centralised Federal Family Integrity Agency, with 51 districts encompassing the 50 states and US Territories. Responsibilities will include monitoring interpersonal relations within family units, following the benchmark of the proven "traditional" family dynamic and structure. In this arrangement, it is understood that "Daycare" is a damaging, hurtful convenience merely for selfish parents. Likewise, it is understood that mothers working outside the home constitute a threat to the mental development and physical well being of dependent children and their husbands, if there is a husband present. Parents unable to comply with the 6-month phase out and de-licensing of remote, non-relation supervised childcare shall be placed on a watch list of "endangered families" and subject to supervisory visits by the appropriate FIA Compliance and Commitment Department Case Officers. If the wife is not obeying the husband, the husband is assesed a financial penalty commensurate to 10% of net income, pretax, to be garnished from wages and dividend income by emplyees and relevant finacial institutions under penalty for noncompliance. Under conditions of Maternal non-obeyeance ina two-parent household, the children are damaged by such a dysfunctional "anti-head of the family" situation, so they'll need to be closely supervised by the assigned Family Integrity Agency oversight body and subject to placement in FIA authorised "model family" foster environments for observaton and any necessary character remediation.

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There. that's just an outline, and none too soon if you ask me. Once we get this one rolling, I have some ideas on:

• The Why talk about Me when you're so much more Screwed up Amendment
• The Vice pays Homage to Virtue Corporate Governance Is So 20th Century Amendment
• The Lobbying IS Democracy in Action Amendment. (Formerly known as the Billy Tauzin Take this Government Job and shove it, now I'm going to sell my influnce to the highest bidder Act.)
• The If I Go Down With the Ship, Who's Going to Drive the New One? Retroactive and Anticipatory Blanket Pardon for Poobahs and Politcos Amendment
• The It's not Child Abuse if I'm a Priest Amendment
• The It's only a Problem if you Make it a Problem Energy and the Envionment Secrecy Amendment.
• The Republicans don't believe in Deficits and can't be blamed for deficits no matter what the facts are and it's always the Democrats fault anyway Amendment.
• The Look at the Money We'll Save on Stationery by Always Having Presidents named Bush Amendment
• The Presidential Signature, Two-Proofs of Purchase and an enclosed Self-Addressed Stamped Envelope Streamlining the Amending of The Constitution Amendment

Come on, time's a wastin' Let's go!

Elohim? Please pick up. Bush is still holding, and that "Mike Huckabee" guy's on 2. Should I tell him you're "not in" again?

At a speech to Republican Governors at the Washington Convention Center, the President rushed a buggy, beta version of his Fall product to early release on Monday. He took a few half-hearted swings at wishy-washy Democrats and their "lack" of alternative answers to his bungled efforts. But the best part was this...

Akron Beacon Journal
Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, who took the stage before Bush, set the tone for the event by pulling out his cell phone for a mock conversation with God about Bush's candidacy.

"We're behind him, yes sir, we sure are," Huckabee said into the phone.

Yes sir. And it got even more cloying than that. So much so, the further the "conversation" progressed, the more Huckabee's intended laugh pauses were filled with, well, uncomfortable laughs, then squirming silence. I caught this on C-Span, trying to find a transcript.

[Update, 2-28: Sharp reader, JJB points us to a transcript of Huckabee's improv at Keith Olbermann's Countdown site. Scroll down halfway or so, it's not to be missed.]

Why does Dana Milbank hate Fuzzy Math? Why does he hate... "Leaders"?

Washington Post
White House Forecasts Often Miss The Mark

By Dana Milbank

...These are not isolated cases. Over three years, the administration has repeatedly and significantly overstated the government's fiscal health and the number of jobs the economy would create, but economists and politicians disagree about why.

The president, though not addressing the predictions directly, regularly points to four events that altered economic expectations: the recession; the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks; the corporate governance scandals; and war in Iraq. "We've been through a lot," Bush said in an economics speech Thursday. "But we acted, here in Washington. I led."

"I led."

Frank Lorenzo led too.

But Lorenzo was lousy on people issues, famously saying, "I'm not paid to be a candy ass" The mid-1980s were a bad time to take that approach. Those were the years when the so-called Japanese model of management, which emphasized cooperation between management and labor, was creating a stir. The Lorenzo model was old school: if the unions give you any trouble, break 'em.

That strategy had worked for him at Continental, where he'd filed Chapter 1 I despite the airline's $60 million in cash reserves, in order to exploit a provision in the Bankruptcy Code allowing him to abrogate his contracts with the unions, But Congress plugged that loophole by the time Lorenzo went to the mat with Charles Bryan, IAM chapter president. Lorenzo might have succeeded in breaking the machinists alone, but when flight attendants and pilots honored the picket lines, he should have known it was time to deal. He didn't.

Instead he tried again for a strategic advantage through the bankruptcy courts, by filing Chapter 1I in the Southern District of New York where bankruptcy judges were believed to be more favorably disposed toward management than in Miami where Eastern was headquartered, Eastern had to hide behind the skirts of its subsidiary, Ionosphere Clubs, Inc., a New York corporation, in order to got into SDNY. Six minutes later, Eastern itself filed in the same court as a related proceeding.

The case was assigned to Judge Burton Lifland, whom Eastern's bankruptcy lawyer, Harvey Miller, knew well, but Lorenzo was mistaken if he believed that serendipitous lottery assignment would be his salvation. Judge Lifland a year later declared Lorenzo unfit to run the airline and appointed Martin Shugrue as trustee.

Two years after Eastern pancaked, Lorenzo tried to start a new airline, "Friendship." The Department of Transportation figured he'd "led" enough. They too, told him to find another line of work.

Leadership is a hinky thing. You lead by doing, by example. You lead by being about more, not less. Building, not cutting. You close gaps, instead of inventing new ones. You understand the tribal relationship between "We" and "Me". You take the hit, even when it's not your fault. You do NOT say things like this:

The president . . . regularly points to four events that altered economic expectations: the recession; the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks; the corporate governance scandals; and war in Iraq.

If you lead by the Coercive model, prettied up with the occasional hackneyed burst of the Authoritative, as Bush does, you have to be whipsmart, 5 squares ahead, and able to wield, on a dime, a grifter's intuitive understanding of human response. A pretty rare package. One absent here. Once you reach the point of saying things like, "...I led," people are buffing resumes and eyeing the exits. You are toast.

Your degree of crispness is determined by several factors: First, the embarassment threshold of your previous benefactors or supporters, be it management committee or party elders. Second, the degree to which your presence becomes an identifiable drag on the organzation, as reflected by the comments and questions of your customers (voters) and the patience and willingness of those charged with providing the answers: Employees. These two factors are the artificial gravity holding you up. Your resume and past success count for naught because, as a rule, loyalty has been generated by "push", not "pull", by job title, not mutual identification. The only option at this point is a viable gesture of sufficient magnitude to replace the artificial support--and quickly--with a tangible, sustainable, coherent narrative. You shoulder blame and put the mess into a salvageable, believeable context--with a defined, grown-up performance penalty tied to you. If you value what's left of your rep, you have two choiices: A very human, but not pitiful mea culpa, followed by a lot of work. Or you leave.

The Observer / The Guardian

Now the Pentagon tells Bush: climate change will destroy us

· Secret report warns of rioting and nuclear war
· Britain will be 'Siberian' in less than 20 years
· Threat to the world is greater than terrorism

New York. 2-22-04. Climate change over the next 20 years could result in a global catastrophe costing millions of lives in wars and natural disasters..

A secret report, suppressed by US defence chiefs and obtained by The Observer, warns that major European cities will be sunk beneath rising seas as Britain is plunged into a 'Siberian' climate by 2020. Nuclear conflict, mega-droughts, famine and widespread rioting will erupt across the world.

The document predicts that abrupt climate change could bring the planet to the edge of anarchy as countries develop a nuclear threat to defend and secure dwindling food, water and energy supplies. The threat to global stability vastly eclipses that of terrorism, say the few experts privy to its contents.

'Disruption and conflict will be endemic features of life,' concludes the Pentagon analysis. 'Once again, warfare would define human life.'

Lovely. Reminds me of this:

"I don't care what the facts are."
--George Herbert Walker Bush. 8-15-89

this

"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question."
--George W. Bush. 10-4-00

and this:

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself--and you are the easiest person to fool.
--Richard Feynman

certainly this:

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. It follows that all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
--George Bernard Shaw

probably this:

Whom the gods would destroy they first make mad with power.
--Charles Beard

And lastly, this:

instead of this:

Which, if you think about it, is really this:

God Bless America.

Shake and Bake^® for a New American Century: The Campaign Management Secrets of Nicolo Machiavelli.

• Keep opponents rocked back on their heels, off balance.
• Apply steady, unrelenting pressure.
• Maintain tension to maintain cohesion within your ranks.
• Infer when you can't declare.
• Plausible association with universal ideals and metaphysical truisms negates the need for explanation.
• States of emergency forgive contingency and flux.
• Question motive and allegiance when you have no coherent or logical response to failure.

Those are what I'd say comprise the operative framing strategies of the past, and the future, of this administration. In an era that calls for Marshall Plans and national cohesion, one side is ramping up for Dresden.

Polls are looking bad. But for some, that's good. Because righteous indignation is fuel--for the fight, and for identity. A polar world is the only one they understand and can comfortably exist in, absent any coherent and resonant alternative. And that's the Catch-22. Any suggestion of an alternative is an attack on the chosen course and forfeits your place in The Bunker. Or on the planet....

Slate: Washington's conservative activists have found a traitor in their midst, Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Orrin Hatch. The occasion is Memogate.... To them, the Utah Republican has done something "acutely damaging to the struggle to get conservative judges onto the federal bench," as one National Review writer put it this week, in a column widely e-mailed among disgusted activists. Another activist ominously warned in the Washington Post of a "thermonuclear" punishment for Hatch.

Yes. Felonies be damned, this is about principle!

One used to be able to say that "reasonable people can disagree." Well, the reasonable people have found other work. Or retired to Sanibel. Get out your Sun Tzu. And your Kevlar.

link via atrios

Nader, Nadir: "The towering similarities dwarf the dwindling real differences."

Words guaranteed to make you sound like a twit, even IF you live in New Haven, Cambridge, Berkeley or Madison:

Duopoly
Intelligentsia
Hegemony
Patriarchy
Corporate paymaster minion
Corporate pay masters
Corporate-occupied territory
Corporate bidding
Voices and Choices

Sure they all mean something relevant. But can't we do better than a warmed-over Weathermen coffee-klatsch?

"Students, this is Mr. Bin Laden. He'll be teaching Earth Science while Mrs. Philpott is on Maternity leave."

Billings Gazette / AP
Education Secretary Paige calls national teachers union a 'terrorist organization'

WASHINGTON - Education Secretary Rod Paige called the nation's largest teachers union a "terrorist organization" Monday, taking on the 2.7-million-member National Education Association early in the presidential election year.

Paige's comments, made to the nation's governors at a private White House meeting, were denounced by union president Reg Weaver as well as prominent Democrats.

The education secretary's words were "pathetic and they are not a laughing matter," said Weaver, whose union has said it plans to sue the Bush administration over lack of funding for demands included in the "No Child Left Behind" schools law.

Paige said later in an Associated Press interview that his comment was "a bad joke; it was an inappropriate choice of words."

Hilarious.

Making a frustrated comment about security measures while standing in line at the airport can get you detained, strip searched and arrested.

A Presidential Cabinet Secretary can malign public servants he is charged to work with, using the most grisly of American insults available--at an official function, no less--and it's called a faux pas?

Super. Now that I understand the rules:

WORLD EXCLUSIVE:
Rod Paige belongs to NAMBLA!

Inappropriate choice of words? My bad.

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[Update: 2-24-04] Poputonian points out that Paige may have been "Kidding on the Square", which urban dictionary.com tells us is A term coined by Al Franken in his book Lies and the Lying Liars who tell them. And I quote:

Kidding on the Square: Joking, but also meaning it.

e.g.

Person 1: "My husband has a tiny dick."
Person 2: "What!?!"
Person 1: "Oh, I'm just kidding."

In this case, person number one is obviously Mrs. Rod Paige.

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[Update to the Update: 2-25-04] Also, a

WORLD EXCLUSIVE: con la Drudge

SECRETARY PAIGE ISSUES APOLOGY FOR 'TERROR' COMMENT ABOUT TEACHER'S UNION
Mon Feb 23 2004 18:51:54 ET: U.S. Secretary of Education Rod Paige today issued the following apology for his remarks about the NEA.

"It was an inappropriate choice of words to describe the obstructionist scare tactics the NEA's Washington lobbyists have employed against No Child Left Behind's historic education reforms. I also said, as I have repeatedly, that our nation's teachers, who have dedicated their lives to service in the classroom, are the real soldiers of democracy, whereas the NEA's high-priced Washington lobbyists have made no secret that they will fight against bringing real, rock-solid improvements in the way we educate all our children regardless of skin color, accent or where they live. But, as one who grew up on the receiving end of insensitive remarks, I should have chosen my words better."

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